did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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