If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
