am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
