my mouth tastes like poor choices
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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