Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
