Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night