oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.