you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.