im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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