I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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