dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
