I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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