It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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