This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
