I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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