he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
