Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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