I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wish you could order shots online.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
