Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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