Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
