You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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