my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
