ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
false alarm. still invincible.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
