my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
