it wasn't lemon gatorade
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
