Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize