its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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