wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
