I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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