the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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