WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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