Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
