I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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