Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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