Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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