Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize