Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
