I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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