Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
