My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
