dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
