If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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