Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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