During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
