So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
