God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
