i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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