Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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