i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
