John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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