Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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