She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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