I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
