Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
