another moral hangover. fuck.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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