Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize