I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
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In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
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because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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