ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
