U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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